I am sandwiched
between the earth and sky heavy gray clouds press down on me and I am Atlas on my knees swaying with the weight of the world - an imprint of my face is in the sand. There is a path
in the snow, forged by the soles of sensible boots waterproofed and trudging along two by two by two - I step off into the drift deep and icy white it melts on my ankles slides into my shoes and makes me shiver. You cannot hold me
I cannot hold myself An early mist ill-defined and opaque I float and dissolve into the reeds and rushes. You cannot see me I cannot see myself Strange eyes pieced together from bits of dragonfly wings pond water and wet clay. You cannot save me I cannot save myself My hands are daisies fragile white rays petals scattered (he loves me) throughout my past (he loves me not). You cannot hold me I cannot hold myself I hide secrets and seeds in empty nests If you cut me in half you can count my rings. You are my skin and you
are wrapped around every bone and muscle blood and air and bile you hold me in elastic and salty and you keep me from falling into a gurgling heap on the floor. I experience everything through you sunlight and winter winds darkened nights and high tide you are my goosebumps and sweaty palms a touch like a feather a slap of reality a cup of cold water tossed in my face. So many names that I can't remember
So many faces that are lost to me now The days become a haze of distorted memories That's the greatest kindness my conscious allows. But you, I carry you with me. Where are the voices that whispered so sweetly? The sigh of the wind means more to me now. Those promises made just to be broken, I swept them away and still found you somehow. You, I carry you with me. Yours is a taste that I can't surrender The shape of your face is etched in my soul The sky in your eyes is my true horizon To walk end to end is my only goal. I carry you with me. You displayed your shame
like a badge of honor your blood a decoration for bravery your humiliation a 21 gun salute. You wore a uniform of tattered flesh and your weapon was a weeping heart. Your orders were to conquer and die. And what did you win except freedom for fools who insist on chains. Jesus
dead and buried wrapped in the white cloth of eternal rest laid out in a dark cradle left to sleep alone forever grew restless and the light burst from his eyes bounced off the rocky walls blasted open the stony door Jesus got up stretched and yawned then went to a fish fry with his friends. Furious
passionate holy ardor blue green red white rhythm of life and sacrifice red-tipped fingers beckon blue-tipped tongues call I am captured engulfed wild free We are
tender and new dewlike and sparkling in the morning sun. In every pulse I feel your cadence persistent like surf and thronging drums. The earth smells fecund and warm heavy with the promise of ripening fruit. Salt and water
heat and pounding pulse I am taut and boiling heaving with the pains of labor laboring over pain. Gravid and patient I strain hoping for and fearing the universe that will spill from me. |